Well so as most stories progress, I became a toddler. However neither my sperm donor nor my egg donor really knew what to do with me. So my sperm donor thought it would be great to go into the military. So off he went and joined the Army. For a drug addict hippy this was pretty much a bad idea from the jump. My egg donor decided that after 2 years of raising me she had had enough. They decided to come up with a brilliant plan of sharing custody every three years to one and three years to another. However this did not take effect until I was about 5.
My first memories of my Alaska Military life were of my sperm donor telling me how wrong it was to sleep on your back. Bizarre Memory but truth none the less. I remember being woken up in a complete dream fog and being in Major trouble for daring to sleep on my back. Major trouble in this house hold typically meant a belt. As any human being could imagine this thought still boggles my mind to this day.
I remember our apartment clearly. Small Kitchen facing living room and open very open. Sliding glass doors with very dark curtains. As with most Alaskans in the area know the curtains are to prevent the light because it never went dark. For 6 months it was always light out.
My first black eye was in Alaska, I remember it fondly. I decided in all my brilliant childlike wisdom to go down a frozen slide face first. I hit my eye on a very frozen Ice ball, maybe a rock covered in Ice. Not sure.
I went home and was met with laughter from my sperm donor and his wife at the time. No steak on the face, no frozen peas to dull the pain. And as if sleeping on my back was not odd enough my sperm donor thought it would be a great idea to make "black eyed peas" for dinner. I was forced to eat them in all mockery fun that was my father. I truly wish I was talking about the band. To this day the sight of the slimy things makes my skin crawl.
Many memories are such like this one. I don't remember anything truly pleasant from this time. No hugs no laughter inside the house.
Its possible that in my minds eye I dwell on the negative and thus am unable to see any positive if there was any. But I find it hard not to dwell on the negative when I think of this time. One of my memories was of my very first earth quake. Apparently Common for normal people living in this area. Not even a big one. Didn't make anyone talk or even make big news. But it was big enough to wake me up and come into the living room. The house was a sleep. I tried to wake my sperm donor up as the living room was becoming an absolute mess. He told me to go to bed and that's what I did. When it was over It took me a while to fall asleep but I did eventually. I was awoken to screams of horror and a yell from my father to "get my ass in the living room" I walked in to much of what I went to bed with, broken pictures tipped over lamps, not horrible, it could have been worse.
As I was being screamed at for the mess I caused I tried to explain that the house was "shaking" though my vocab at this time was limited. They did not believe me of course. I was sent to the corner. Were I remained for what seemed hours. I was released from my prison for bathroom breaks and some food.
Several times with the intention of them trying to get the "truth" from me. Each time my side was the same. My savor was the blip on the news about the Earthquake. I will never forget that blip. "small earthquake wakes a small neighborhood more at 11". No damage major damage reported, no one was injured. end blip.
I was let out of my wall prison, no I am sorry we were wrong. Just let out and told to go to bed. that was the last I ever heard about the subject.
So you see I have a hard time seeing the positives of that time. however I know I would never change my past, you can't. I don't dwell on it, except here. And it did make me who I am. I was "hardened" at a very young age. I eventually softened as you will see in subsequent chapters. I think we all can learn from our past even the awful parts. I have more awful parts than good. I didn't follow my dreams and I made horrible mistakes. But its all apart of growing up really.
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